Last night's dream

I don't usually remember my dreams, but last night's was so interesting that its probably the reason I remember it. It might also have something to do with the fact that "O" is a real person who I know.

I was lost in total darkness and wandered around for a while without really knowing where I was, or what I was looking for. I was wearing a sexy red dress and wasn't wearing shoes. I finally found a bright cave and walked towards it. As I approached, I notice it actually had a door and as I stood there debating whether to knock or not, the door open. And it became clear that it was not actually a cave what I was considering entering but the doorway to hell. And the most amazing dark angel stood there inviting me in...and his name was "O". And I accepted his invitation.

The Mask

I wear a mask to shield myself from you. A mask to protect the little dignity and self-respect I have left. A mask that makes my co-existence with you possible. The mask that keeps my family safe. The mask that allows me to work through all I know at my own pace. The only problem with this mask is it requires all of my emotions to be on check. And every night when you've finally fallen asleep and I can take the mask off, I sigh and think about all that I've lost because of you. I think about all of the hate and anger I feel for you and it overwhelms me. I see a glimpse of the real me in the bathroom mirror and wonder if I will have the strength to put the damn mask on again in the morning. A mask that I despise. A mask that hides how I really feel about you. The damn mask I wear to shield myself from you.